a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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