i think i have herpe
just one?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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