Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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