i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
