is your mom at the bar?
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize