So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
