it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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