I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
