is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
