Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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