Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
