This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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