"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
