She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
