I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
