Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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