he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize