My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize