You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
honey bunches of taint.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
