Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Quick, to the slutcave!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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