This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
