The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
