I'm so fucking centered right now
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
