Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
