you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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