bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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