Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
