Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
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while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
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i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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