so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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