I smell stomach acid.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
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I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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