If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize