We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
