she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
