Buhtt sex?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
