I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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