i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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