I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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