new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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