some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
