There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
