My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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