Nicole vs. Life
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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