He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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