I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
