When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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