I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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