you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm just crazy horny about you
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
