Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
