i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
