He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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