I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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