I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
