i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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