you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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