When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
