SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
