I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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