i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
