He told me they were just razor bumps!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
