I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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